About stephanie

I'm a pole dancing student, a burlesque novice, and blogger learning to follow her passions and be true to herself with no apoleogies

Now or never


It’s easy enough to put off pursuing the things important to you, whether it’s the career of your dreams, a promising relationship, your health and fitness goals, or just a more confident and authentic you, but if you wait until it’s easy to take the first step, you’ll never get there. Start today. Start right now. Do one thing that brings you closer to the person you want to be and the life you want to live. And if it’s hard or scary or uncomfortable, know that you’re challenging yourself and that’s the only way to grow. I’ve recently taken such a step by signing up to perform a beginning burlesque routine — no stripping involved. I’m not that brave — in a small student showcase next month. I realize that may not sound like much of a challenge to some people, but for me it’s huge. Taking the class Continue Reading →

Creating a space for practice at home

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Obviously pole dance is very challenging and takes a lot of hard work to master. And for those of us who can’t make it to classes and/or those of us who are eager to make more progress on our own, it’s important to create a space that allows you to practice. Since I’m working with a very tight budget, I scoured Craigslist ads for inexpensive used poles until I landed on this generic brand static/spinning pole that seemed very stable. And I did rule out several cheaper options that looked more like props to dance around than anything I would trust to support my full body weight. I would suggest looking up any poles you’re considering purchasing on YouTube. Next I set my sights on a large mirror but quickly found that they’re very expensive and settled for a very small $5 one from Target until I could find something Continue Reading →

No Apoleogies


Although I’ve always dreamed of being a performer, someone glamorous and sexy and exciting and passionate, somehow I allowed myself to become the smallest version of who I really am. If I allowed myself to perfect anything at all, it was the power of invisibility. Maybe it was the result of a not-so-happy childhood, years of sexual abuse, or years of isolation due to being homeschooled by a single parent without the resources to ensure that decision didn’t haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe it was a combination of all those things. Whatever the cause, I reached the point where there was almost no trace left of the real me. I could feel myself slip away more and more every day and it was excruciatingly painful. After a particularly tough year during which my husband was in a serious car accident and my work stopped completely without Continue Reading →